in order to ease my self-defeating sense of urgency


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I tried consoling myself that even if I failed I could die smiling at the reality that abounds the terrible suffering in this world. I had not the faintest clue of the selfishness this attitude might incarnate, so focused was I on the project of not letting my overwhelming urgency ruin all your work and all my hopes to help heal the world. I will not give up.

I have not given up. I gave myself a dream so awful I can not even confess it here, but make myself look at it for what the buddha has to say about what helps block me and I am paying attention.


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interview with the viceroy


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I thought maybe you'd like to hear his reasoning....


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i was just there two weeks ago


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The air is for shit, except on the coast, where it will likely be too foggy to see anything, and you WILL suffer... for something that is nowhere near as beautiful and mystical or lasting as a moon eclipse.

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Too few are heeding the warnings... and it's going to be at least 90ยบ in the path of totality in Oregon. Good luck with that. I came back from the same conditions with a raging stye in my left eye from the awful, visibly brown, air.


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you wouldn't believe


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How long I have been warning about this shit. I've told stories about how other counties were lost this way. I've reminded people about "human nature" [greed]. I've made acerbic quips that highlight the hypocrisy. I've yelled. I've whispered. I've cried. I've tried for so long, but gave up a year ago or so and here they are, right in the middle of it.


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disheartening


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I have a bad feeling that Stephen Bannon will go the way of Andrew Breitbart.
Stephen Bannon said in his first public remarks since his ouster from White House role as chief strategist that he will be “going to war” for President Donald Trump, warning that he will continue to press the populist cause against the political and corporate establishment.

“If there’s any confusion out there, let me clear it up: I’m leaving the White House and going to war for Trump against his opponents -- on Capitol Hill, in the media, and in corporate America,” Bannon said Friday in an interview with Bloomberg News hours after his departure was announced by the administration.
I am badly conflicted in my very high left libertarian sensibilities and what little I've heard from Bannon has struck me as so very odd because, on the one hand he comes off as a total pig, but on the other he seems very solidly utterly opposed to the psychopaths and wanting to rip their evil claws from the levers of power... which makes him a goddam hero of the first order, EVEN if he's a pig.

Now I don't know if Trump took such a liking to him in his piggishness that he wanted to impress him with his anti-psychopath rhetoric or if Trump meant any bit of his articulated solidarity with that... or even if he did mean it, not enough to jeopardize the lives of any of his children to get 'er done.

So Bannon may be more helpful out of the White House than he was inside it. The failures seemed to start immediately, and I bet they were all over Bannon's strenuous objections, and Trump having to smooth it over with some bullshit every single time, preferring, of course, to seem noble over actually being noble... which is regular human stuff, not any kind of unusual Trump character flaw... and exacerbated wildly after getting The Talk.

So now Bannon will have more freedom to have an effect, and if he does, well, he's dead. And the fucking harpy "liberals" who are already turning our national political scene into the worst acid trip anyone's ever experienced, will hold a party over his body... if there's even enough of it left to identify.


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contrary to officialdom


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Smoke and ash is happening to us here in a pretty big way. My beautifully clean car is covered in ash and I've been sneezing and coughing for a few days. And I feel resentful toward all feeble denizens of agency land for their utterly unhelpful existences.


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well, she's right


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For the wrong reasons....


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comforting


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Not really.


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they'll need age divisions


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Unless it's just for looks.


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a dream town


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Or at least my dream town, would be like this, only there would be a steady supply of fresh and wholesome food... and plenty of strong and loving men to keep the heavy parts handled.


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ho-lee jumpin' jehosephat


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I cannot stand to prognosticate the import of this. Hopes for decency and the America I grew up thinking I lived in dashed too many goddam times. But shee-yit y'all, this could be better'n has happened to our country in decades.

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The next day: no full bore smearing yet.

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But I want more optimism dammit!


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won't be missing anything


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I remember being excited as hell about a total eclipse when I was a little kid. Mom went out and got us the right stuff to look through so as not to hurt our eyes. It was a big hairy deal... but... not at all impressive. I was let down.


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obviously


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It's the hatch wheel lock on one of the jump rooms the teenaged Barack Obama used to get to Mars, but it was fully exposed at low tide back then and only oligarchs could see him using it.


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i remember it too well


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I was sorry, but I wasn't very upset. My friend, Cap, however was crestfallen and needed to be put on suicide watch. I could not understand it. Not only was he then fat and too Liberace-like, but his singing had been sucking for a long time, too. Elvis just sort of hit a wall. Used up by studio honchos and music execs and pills and utterly lunatic fans.


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more virtue


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Less maniacs, please.


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believe it or not


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They make him look like incarnation of dignity.


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oh, maaaaaan


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I just got such a harsh blast of homesickness I better dial 911.


pipe up any time....