you can't know

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How many years I have been asking for this haircut/hairdo. I made it up. I kept saying, "Like a bob, only completely unruly lengths. Messy. Cockeyed. No straight lines."

"But, but, your hair is straight."

"Yes, well, so much the better because I don't want it looking like I give a fuck even when I haven't done anything to it in a month, and when I want it flying all over the place, I'll use some cheap spray or something."

"Okaaaay... you asked for it."

I never got it! It was always merely bereft of the preppy finish they like to put on you, but definitely NOTHING like I asked for. So I kept looking. Kept popping into places to ask.

Then I gave up.

One day at the pharmacy it turned out they couldn't get to my prescription for a couple hours. "No prob. I need to go find someone to cut my hair on no notice anyway."

"Oh, I know exactly where you want to go," and she proceeded to tell me of a place clear over where you would not expect to find a beauty parlor. It was brand new. I was their first customer.

Radical improvement, but still too damn neat. So I just wouldn't let Dawn cut my bangs. Better I make them look horrible myself, indian style, and I can be half content. We went along like that for five or six years, gradually nearing the right amount of total chaos, almost to the point where we could call this do "the nines" and now one or the other of the fifty people I hassled about it over the last 15 years, since I cut off four or so feet of my hair, decided it should be called the "messy bob" and it's a thing... at last.

That's fine. I don't need fame.

And there was a method to my madness all along. I knew I would be developing old lady hair, Einstein hair, and I wanted it as Einsteinian as possible... had been starting to think I needed to go find someone in the movie business to either create the template for me, or make me a wig to bring around and show these country bumpkins.

This is almost the identical story with me and my Wayfarer frames thing. Hassling opticians across the face of Northern California for two decades... and now it's a thing.

Used to be I could not stand to be thought fashionable. Now I don't care. If that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

always and any time....