...
Seems that spring was about a week long and summer is hurtling down on me, but it might be another feint like we had a month or so ago. Almost uninterrupted rain and then 85º for a day and then back to raining. Someone in town today said it's supposed to rain again Saturday.
No, I don't like to go out in the rain, but, boy, I vastly prefer rain to heat.
Anyway, I'm sort of zoomed out with the loss of Merle and sympathy for how young Mr. Snowden must be feeling and trying to hark back up recent dreams that seem to be right here, but can't quite come to words. I know I was stealing some green suede sneakers, leaving my beloved old boys' Starter high tops as payment, but began missing my nearly disintegrated shoes and feeling vexed about whatever might have induced me to take the green things.
That's all that comes back, and I can't believe I can still do things like that even in my dreams. I mean, I suppose it wasn't coldblooded stealing because I was leaving a "payment" very dear to me, but... why?
All I seem to be getting from it is that I am again letting energy flow toward branching when the perfecting work is in the roots. Merle was roots. Poor Ed might be what comes of branching before the roots are perfect.
I mean, I know it's stinging. He trusted people we're all supposed to be able to trust. Courage is not contagious. The Act is. The big boyz allowing you the pretense if you will be co-opted. Cowards can never be moral. I wish I could send him Norman's little Gandhi primer.
Anyway, I know a lot of people who matter are suffering right now, and I'm wanting to send my solidarity out to them to find and own the courage that flames up from the heart of these embers, from the heart of life.
always and any time....
