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This pain business I've been enduring for the past few years — which is definitely worse in the winter — has reached terrifying intensity... like a twenty on the doctors' scale of one to ten. Not at one constant level, but ranging between zero and twenty depending on the moment.
It's hugely positional, but also just lurking there in the lower range in a not-positional sort of way.
It's in my lumbar spine, but it shoots out to both, and one or the other, hips at all these notches on the intensity scale. Some days it also shoots up my spine right to the base of my brain.
My new bed has alleviated the desperate struggle to get out of it problem, only to be replaced by hip pains SO excruciating one or the other or both of my legs begin to buckle from the sudden loss of...?
Whatever it is supposed to be holding me up.
I'm alone.
No phone.
Locked doors.
This is becoming way too problematic to bear.
I've been trying to tough it out long enough to turn 73 not hospitalized. Something about hospitalization on my birthday just seems entirely too cruel a fate to me.
I have no idea if my hips are actually ready to fly out of their sockets and this creepy sciatica isn't actually going to prevent me from making it to the toilet with my dignity intact, but the question is weighing on me very heavily right now. Maybe it's just plain arthritis, not really going to disconnect my legs from my torso, but I cannot tell, and I might either crack in my resolve or onto the floor before I've been able to alert you.
So I'm thinking to leave you guys some links that lead to positive things to ponder. And Baron is one of those. Not every single time, but most, his opens for his podcasts are GREAT listening. He spends fifteen or twenty minutes on a pre-written open, and then proceeds to show you bits of his research on the Charlie Kirk assassination for another hour or so. After the first hour and a half, sometimes two, or so, it's a Niagra of superchat questions and friendly banter with his audience.
You might not want or have time for all three-plus hours of his almost nightly livestreams, but you might be interested in his opens and/or his research. The superchats deluge that follows those usually has a few really helpful things in it, too, but not hard to skip that part at all.
We are all suffering from the incessant stream of insults to our spirits and the riots of lies and evasions that come with them. So listening to someone as brilliant and positive and goofy as Baron Coleman can really help a human's aching sensibilities.
pipe up any time....
