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Being immediately nearly dead of desire to get to where there were no drive up windows and strip malls. It isn't that I didn't know the psychopaths were doing bad things out there, but everything seemed SO far out there and I was somehow unclear about whether it was was for good or ill it was going on. I was just 30, and my insight was fighting with my conditioning to be heard.
I know I'd already psychically decked a guy at a boyfriend's bar when he was going on about Vietnam. I think he'd asked a rhetorical question about why we'd gone there, but I answered him vehemently, with no malice aforethought, that we'd gone there for profit. I didn't even know what I was going to say, but it rolled out of me like thunder and I elaborated until I could see him set back on his barstool and knew there was no comeback.
People tell me there's no chance I could have made my way to my logger genius and away from "the real world" had it not been for the psychopaths' hard work out there on the global stage. That's bullshit... a preloaded, conditioned, entrained, response for whenever the filthy truth starts dawning. It was designed to sink you right back into your mental oblivion, functional enough to work your butt off and watch tv... to death.
pipe up any time....
