my independence day dream of volodya

...

A nap snuck up behind me and beat me over the head to get me in bed earlier... one of those naps that WILL NOT be denied, unless life and limb will suffer if I do. I reckon I heard maybe two more words of the interview I was listening to when it happened, and then, bam, out like a light and dreaming my shriveled old ass off.

I was in a crowded auditorium where he was speaking, telling my companions they really needed to hear what he was saying. I knew he was serious because he was speaking English so he could be certain we Americans understood what he was saying. My companions were acting as though he were speaking Russian... befuddled.

Then his main point boomed out of him extra-loudly in perfect English. He was as desperate for the American lemmings to break out of the mass suicide mission on which we have been herded as I am. I'm now emphatic to the silliest degree. Oh, he mad, he mad, he MAD! LISTEN to him. He's speaking our salvation....

Nope, he was still speaking Russian as far as they could tell.

Now I'm running around to everyone in the venue, yelling, "LISTEN TO VLADIMIR PUTIN!" not getting much of a response stronger than facial expressions of blank befuddlement.

Now my gratitude fills my entire sector of the cosmos and I'm yelling, over and over and over, "I LOVE VLADIMIR PUTIN! I HAVE TO THANK HIM. I HAVE TO TELL HIM!" My friend is talking about putting steaks on his bbq and maybe fixing me a cocktail, and I'm frantic I have to find Volodya and tell him I love him... I'll die if I can't thank him and kiss his cheek. Friend still impervious to it. So I wheel around to start my quest, and Volodya is right there, inches away, and he kisses ME full on the lips with his arms squeezing around me.

He's as glad about me as I am about him.

PLAINLY.

He takes me over to where some of the evening's speakers were and sits me down right next to him. We exchange some extremely friendly endearments for a few minutes, and then he starts talking to one of his countrymen on the other side of him. The big audience has gone, and now it's only a few hundred people, mostly men, presenting their ideas in little panels.

I decide to go out among them to make sure they have heard him. I don't realize it for some minutes but I've been going around among them stark naked. Nobody acted even a little offended, or interested, in my complete lack of attire... as though they had not noticed... and so I did NOT [!!!!!] freak out about being naked in that crowd.

I was right in the middle of getting on a coat so we could leave when I woke up.


pipe up any time....