it might be better to change the routine

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...

Squirming my way out of my fix each morning and stumbling around in my effort to both wake up and stay alive, it is most appropriate to just go straight for my email, my blog, my contact with the world. It's hard to injure myself if I'm just here at my chair. This is a big plus. Take my thyroid pills. Figure out if I'm wearing enough socks. Read comments. Gird myself to go put on the water for coffee. Oh, well, I think I probably need to pee. Tea pot whistling too shrilly. What day is it? No, another sweater is in order, not so cold as to need turning on the heater....

That's on the days when the pixels splatting on my gray matter have not caused an immediate meltdown. Then the story is far scarier. Some mornings it's merely bleak and the bungling is even more scattered. Three or four trips to topping off the socks, trying to pour the coffee grounds in the filter holder before the filter is in it, that sort of thing.

Today, it seems, the internet itself is partially paralyzed. A bunch of sites are not loading.

Of course, this means I have to wonder if there's been a particularly consequential outage somewhere, or if they've turned off access to servers in other countries. And I have to just chill till I'm with it enough to check into the earthquakes and fascist bank account confiscations, struggle with my urges to go smack Moonbeam.

Lobotomy is the kindest way.
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