fifty fifty

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I think the first time there was ever a test for right/left brain dominance was over thirty years ago, and now they've got it streamlined so that anyone can even embed it on their site... I guess. I've done these dumb things since before there was an internet and always score fifty fifty. Well.... Strictly speaking, when there are decimal points involved it's 50.9/49.1... or has been. A very slight right brain dominance.

I was expecting it be different today... somehow... as though possibly there were a third option....

Anyway, I am very strange.

I mean, it started out being everyone else telling me I was weird, which somehow never fazed me, didn't make me feel badly until, later, it became apparent that I was not getting through to people, and, much later, that the truth of the matter is that I was getting through and there was an actual mental block there, denying that. I was threatening!

OMFG. That's ludicrous!

Few feel more friendly and loving toward their fellows, and being as I have been darn babe-like and funny forever, the deflection of threat usually came in the form of patronizing... or... of course... tongue lolling.

But there now seems to be more factors factoring into my cognition and its expression than ever before. I am, of course, going senile... things learned so long ago they are practically hardwired are kittywompus now. Some of them. Like the matter of the number of sphinxes at Giza... where it's not my brain but reality itself that is skewed... and the size and extent of the San Joaquin Valley, which I just noticed late last night is now all wrong and I have not reconciled this yet with my memory banks thoroughly enough to decide if it is a dimensional shift or my brain at fault there.

I was talking about it with Mister North yesterday, in connection with this bizarre drought, and I don't need to look any of that up. One thing they were always very big on in California schools was California geography and history and civics. We all had that flat before exiting third grade, and, no, I have no idea if that's still the case, but we're talking here about what was drilled into me in my rapidly receding extreme youth and what comes up on Google Maps.

They moved Palm Springs! They stubbed the San Joaquin! Shrunk it. They elevated the desert.

No, really, part of my supposedly genius level IQ has always been my fantastical spacial awareness, macro and micro, being navigator on family vacations since toddlertude, and memorizing complex information based on physical or abstract location. Wowing the crowds with it my whole life. So we're not talking a minor glitch here.

Yes, some of this confusion is no doubt due to my lifelong disinclination to admit Southern California to actual Californiahood, but some of it is not... I don't think. What I think, provisionally still, is that there are earth changes they're just forgetting to mention, adjusting the maps and textbooks and evaporating the historical record, and/or it's the dimensional shift or series of them.

I guess there is the possibility that the certitude with which they presented the information in the first place was just horse shit and they did not actually have maps mapped to actual mapping until long after they had taught me a barn full it. That is, it must be noted, so totally not out of the question anymore... but I've been to these places.

So, anyway, the almond orchards in the south of the San Joaquin that are being shrunk due to lack of irrigation water, are not, sorry Mister North, formerly known as the Mojave, but they are located where sufficient water for the venture has for my lifetime been an issue. Or not provably so at this point in time, this incarnation of the intertubes or planet earth, I don't know which.

When I stumbled upon that map very late last night I had a feeling I'd wake up vexed by it, but I did manage to put it out of my mind until after I'd gotten some sleep, at least. That much is excellent. And I know the "maps" used in elementary school are... perforce... elementary... which accounts for a lot in itself, but I have some personal experience, physically, with these things and that is not squaring with what comes up on a search now either.

I need to be able to have a respectable amount of certainty when I'm wrong or right or somewhere in between, and when I am trying to amend, upgrade, revise, evolve, enlighten myself. This seems completely reasonable to me, even as I know it's of little interest to many, and unspeakable at all to many, and there have been so many dirty tricks going on out there for so long this is just not as easy for me as it has always been.

Abounding everything, I must insist again, where did the other sphinx go?