i keep telling you


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This is, no shit, not only going to take the weight off you, but it will also cure some dread conditions most people think are incurable and need to be managed by pharmaceutical toxins. You've truly got the choice between having your life and being too sick, or just too fat, to function up to it. It cures MS. It cures adult onset diabetes. It cures bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It helps cure hypothyroidism, along with tyrosine, and even when it doesn't, you know your thyroid is tanking again the minute you start to gain weight... which, of itself, is a godsend because the doctor will fight not to raise your thyroid supplement until you're found face down and mumbling on the carpet next to your bed, unless you yourself have this down pat and can cogently refute the doctor's unwillingness to defy the STUPID AND USELESS blood test readings.

Yesterday, I listened again to the bodhisattva veterinarian who mass mailed an audio tape of his lecture on colloidal minerals to millions of people back in the 1990s. For my entire adult life I have been a noisy opponent of junk mail, but never before or since did it ever come with a cassette tape and from a vet, so I did not rip it to shreds, stomp on it and burn it in a satanic ritual against capitalism. My beloved dictaphone was still working back then and I popped that sucker in it and was riveted by it.

Still, no matter what, all this good news is MORE than easy to dismiss. We're all hypnotized against taking it seriously and doing it. Some of us are not so easy to mind control completely enough, though, and we hassle everybody about it to little effect. I have been here flat on my face for most of eight years, wishing for some speed so I could at least get to the store, and too brain fogged to remember about the ketogenic diet or the colloidal minerals or what vitamins help what, a complete wreck! About a year and a half ago I swore off doctors. I have to go in order to get my thyroid, but other than that, only for emergencies will I go to the doctor. I decided to place my trust in Tony Pantalleresco's advice and I have been feeling better and better and better ever since.

Radically better.

He LITERALLY saved my life.

A couple days ago I spoke with my neighbor a few doors down. Her dog is one of the ones who goes all giddy crazy with love whenever I come into view. So we regularly have a big old lovefest in her driveway and sometimes she comes out to chat. She's going down to Eureka next week to have a vein ripped out of her leg because a blister on her toe very swiftly turned into gangrene and simply removing the toe, I guess, wasn't good enough. I'm unclear on the full monte. Anyway, I mentioned that she might cure her diabetes through diet, and she said, "Yeah, I've got a couple books on that. It's too hard."

You will be so proud of me.

I did not bludgeon her. I did not turn a hair. I kept talking amicably and sympathetically with her. She's a really nice lady and I don't want to lose her, but I also don't want to beat the crap out of her to keep her. I reserve that action for you.

PAY ATTENTION!

It's not "too hard". It's a hassle. They made it a hassle on purpose. Tough shit. It's totally doable, and after you have been doing it for a while, you feel so good you could almost shoot yourself for not resorting to it earlier.

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I have not gone completely ketogenic and I have not been dieting, but in the 16 months since I stopped eating grains I have lost 24 pounds. The first 14 were almost immediate... and the next ten started coming off as I stopped placating my urges for toast and pasta and french bread with Cherry Garcia. I replaced that with plain yogurt with maple syrup or honey, or a cup of cocoa made with half and half or cream and sweetened just enough to take the bite out of the chocolate with raw honey.

I'm not all the way back down to size 6. I don't want to be. It's nice to say I wear size 6 pants, but my face looks about fifty years older than it is when I'm that skinny. I'm not all the way down to size 8 yet either, but I'm close and it's going to happen without dieting, while eating all the bacon I want and drinking cream straight from the carton.

When I want desert, I dump a bunch of cocoa powder and about a teaspoon or so of maple syrup in a tub of sour cream, stir it up, and marvel at the ease of producing the ultimate chocolate mousse. If I had the money, I'd probably spend some of it on all the groovy coconut flour treats popping up all over, but, well, I don't... and they probably use too much sugar anyway.

After I'm done paying off all my completely outrageous extravagances for this conference... in a couple years... I might buy an ice cream maker so I can make my own ice cream WITHOUT sugar and just eat it with a fruity or chocolaty goo that's only been minimally sweetened.

Honestly, after a while most of your sweet cravings go away. And those are actually, when you're not just plain addicted, due to mineral deficiencies anyway. It ISN'T deprivation to get a handle on this! It's doing something that will make you gleefully more able to function. It's giving yourself something that just keeps continuing to make you happier. Cherry Garcia only makes me happy for a few seconds. Getting back my vitality gives me hours and days and weeks and months and years of happy feelings.