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I know for certain veganism is ultimately unhealthy, but, even so, it's pretty clear that it's not calories or even carbs so much as it is chemicals making us so fat. I'm pretty sure the paleo diet is the closest thing we've got to a healthy diet, but even before I knew that I was telling people that it's obviously the lab food that is ruining our lives. I can't remember when I started saying that, but it has been decades.

I was in my late twenties when I cured my roommate's two-year-old-from-hell by taking him off McDonald's and hot dogs and candy... and I don't remember if that was from already suspecting it or from learning then to suspect it, but that was over half my life ago... and it, plus one well-timed smack, turned THE enfant terrible into the most darling little boy ever encountered by mortals. No shit. Night and day. Fast... and it lasted.

No refuge for skeptics in placebo effect on that one either. Night and day. Cut the lab food intake and Satan's soulmate turns into the toddler of the saints. No shit, and no escape hatches for sophists. They are trying to kill us.

My mother and sister have been on a diet almost every day of my life. They consume diet everything. Spreads, desserts, sodas, snacks, anything they can buy that is low or no calories, fat free, blue milk, the works. My mother finally isn't so fat, but that's because she's lost her appetite almost completely and only wants sugar now, which, like eating only vegetation or only fat, makes you skinny. When you're my mother's age, this is the herald of a digestive system that's had it with all that work, and if you cave to its imperatives completely, it kills you. My sister is still fat, fat, fat... 5'3" and well over 200 pounds. So you know I've mentioned this to them. You know I mentioned it the moment it came into my head.

They didn't want to hear it. Much easier to call me crazy than to modify the cramming of whatever comes to hand into the old trash-talker, especially when the labels on it all are a Mormon Tabernacle Choir of that old hit tune, Nines is Just Weird.

always and any time....