...
Still out there begging for donations, even though she gets enough money every month to more than cover living expenses, and enough benefits to cover dying expenses.
And the do-gooder junkies also continue to milk it. That might be the weirdest part of this ordeal for me. A good percentage of the people she's been conning for money all these years will not accept the truth and go right on helping think up ways to involve the public in this long-cultivated demise, just as though actuality were not actuality and regular grownups can't make this as bearable as is possible without that crap.
It hurt me to experience all the desperately lonely softies throwing themselves into the situation however they might, forming armies of telephone networks and advice from pet rescue specialists and firemen and plumbers and mafia wives and the lord and the local militia and ... well ... I couldn't give you the picture without getting devastatingly specific, and all I want to do is express that this continues to be a filthy travesty all around.
Maybe they've backed off pretending some heroic donation drive will avert her chosen fate, but it's still execrable anyway. Yes, I only spent ten days there, but in that time I learned her whole life, without even having to ask. She was so full of tumors at the time, right in the middle of piles and piles of never opened alternative cancer cures, there was only one way to alleviate some of her misery. We did that.
But at no time since any of us began listening to her interviews has she been in need of donations to get by just fabulously on her own. Actually, at no time has she been bereft of friends and family willing and able to come to her aid. It's all been a pack of lies.
It was so decent of the buddhas to give me this lesson, and I very deeply mean this, but that does not lessen the marrow-rattling revulsion from having to face the fact of those lies. Without the love of truth, the depth, breadth, extent of those lies might have put me in the hospital. And that's maybe why these fucking adorableness addicts keep going.
They don't love the truth enough to withstand the killing lies.
always and any time....
