my weak cannabutter cure for wimpy insomniacs

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I quit smoking dope at all a very long time ago because it made me turn into a sex-crazed piece of furniture worried I had to do my sympathetic nervous system on purpose or it would stop behind my back... right before it turned out all my lights and I had myself a nice looong nap.

It became increasingly more uncomfortable each time, it seemed. So, heck, I'm not going to do it if it's too damn uncomfortable to have any fun. Pft.

Well, I'm bitching full time to you about my insomnia, my circus of sleep disorders, and creeping suspicions the psychopaths are not just filling the air with so much electromagnetic smog it's harming everything, but maybe even actively targeting me just to punish me for not cooperating with everyone.

Then it hit me that cannabis has to hold the cure for my ever-worsening sleep deprivation. It's been so bad I even will put myself through the half hour extreme discomfort of being stoned, just to get some real rest. I don't have to remain so obstinate about pot that I fail to help myself where feasible, but, damn, I do not like that feeling, and there does not seem to be a small enough toke that will make it just pleasant and not a big sweat over whether my lungs will work if I don't will them to specifically each breath.

I may even have announced it to you already, but I made myself a RIDICULOUSLY weak stick's worth of cannabutter a month or so ago. I took a bud no bigger than the end of my thumb and dropped it in a saucepan of boiling water with a stick of butter and a dash of sea salt. I let this simmer for a few hours. I poured the whole thing into a Pyrex bowl, plucked out the boiled bud and then put the water/butter in the fridge. After it was completely cold, butter separated completely from water, I drained out the water and there, big as heck, was some very extremely remotely chartreuse cannabutter.

I took about a quarter of a pat's worth of it and mixed it in with plain butter and scrambled an egg in it. Not even an hour later I felt a distant sense of maybe I was getting stoned. I got in bed and went to sleep.

Hey, wow. No discomfort. Sleep.

Still, I did not just fall off the turnip truck and I let it be for a night or two. Did it again. Same thing. Kept leaving it for a night or two and just barely perceptibly increasing the amount of cannabutter as I went along... never pushing it so hard it might lead to that awful feeling before letting me sleep, but not leaving it so long my body forgot those helping molecules. Slow and steady, staying the course.

Immediately I noticed, not just that I got to sleep with relatively little fanfare, but the quality of the sleep was radically better. Like blinking neon noticeably better. I can count on one hand the number of times it's taken me less than two hours to come to the party after "waking up" in the "morning" over the last more than two decades. It's always been a problem for me, but it's SO much worse the older I get, or the more cell towers you erect, it's not possible to impress upon you the extent of my difficulty.

You wouldn't believe me even if it were possible to convince you I am not lying or exaggerating even a little. It would still be too unbelievable to take in whole. The last time I went to a sleep specialist, something like seven or eight years ago, she told me I get 50% sleep efficiency, meaning that eight hours of sleep for me is as restful as four hours of sleep for you. Do the math. That's not good news, and... no kidding... it's gotten worse since then.

This was not going to be a good old age for me.

Last night I put nearly a full pat's worth of my wimpy cannabutter on some popcorn. Yes, yes, it's still grain, but I got certified non-GMO mixed blue corn just for emergency stomach filling... cheap, not too poisonous, doable for when I'm too wiped to feed myself or too poor. I was out of eggs, and even though it's weak and barely cannabinoid, I don't want to just hold my nose, put it in my mouth and swallow it like castor oil, so I made bedtime popcorn.

I melted my almost pat of wimpy cannabutter in with some plain butter and some Tapatío sauce, drizzled it over air popped corn and salted it liberally with sea salt. I felt it a half hour after finishing the popcorn. I got in bed, stoned, but not feeling awful, not worried about my lungs, just buzzed and listening to a podcast. I didn't fall asleep very fast, but neither was I uptight about it at all. I eventually fell asleep and even though it was only about five hours' sleep, I got up this morning completely with the program.

I mean, not under water, not groping blindly for coffee or cigarette or thyroid pill, not bumping into the wall while stumbling to the bathroom to pee, not staring blankly into some cosmos of the prima materia awaiting the wave that switches my lights back on. No. I got up this morning and was awake... vitality enough to cover myself and put the coffee grounds into the filter instead of the teapot... lucid enough to get the coffee made and be sipping on it before it's almost cold... remembering my pill... feeling about two hunnert pounds lighter than usual.

This is about the fifth time this has happened since I started this experiment in naturopathic medicine, so I emailed Tony to announce my great discovery, my cure for everyone who can't stand the discomfort of the pot panics in order to get the health benefits of cannabis. He says to try also to take in some B3 with it and I have to make sure as many people know about this as possible.

There are legions of people suffering like this. Well, maybe not quite this badly, but really miserably anyway. Insomnia and distinct loss of sleep quality seems to be striking more and more of us, one way or another, and the dope they're growing nowadays is SO intense it's knocking out even formerly happy recreational dope smokers, and scaring the pee out of neophytes who were willing to try anything until their near-death experience with medical marijuana.

We hear about a lot of people with this same problem with pot. It's waaay not worth the hassle to make this end run around the misery of it if you just want to get high, but, man, it is SO worth it if you need the health... the sleep quality.

Please link this post to all your insomniac friends, or all your sick friends who won't try to get better with pot because it is too damn uncomfortable for them. The key is to just take in sub-stoning amounts over long enough to develop enough tolerance to handle a puff or two, or a brownie, or part of one. It isn't a hopeless situation.

You CAN have your potcorn and eat it too.

You CAN get enough quality sleep to have your life back. Not even sleeping pills give you back the sleep quality. They are good for when you are desperate to sleep at all, but they only get rid of the worst aches and emotional lability of not sleeping. They don't let you get the full range of sleep phases, and this fazes one in major ways when it's been too long since full quality sleep.

That is THE slide into the serious illness zone.

I know yer embarrassed to let anyone know you like me, so just pretend you stumbled on it accidentally and give them a chance to realize there's hope... there's relief... there's still a good chance they're not too wasted to like their lives again.

always and any time....