sometimes i think

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They plumbed up the complicated system of pipes to make me stop loving humanity. I have to remind myself that psychopaths are not humans, though they look like us. I have to remind myself that the same things that make humans so very beautiful are the same things that turn things to slime in the world, that it's not even ultimately a human's smarts that sets him outside the closed loop of cranking out suffering from the very mechanisms of love.

It's purely from humans taking their delusory selves as the real deal, the genuine article, using their computing mind instead of the real one. Just like computers, our computing minds spit out garbage when garbage has been put in, and we so seldom break our heads free because the little spirit protector demon is willing to kill its host before letting itself ever be seen to have been the kind of wrong that is humiliating.

Your ego will kill you before it will let you be humiliated, but also it will kill anyone else when its envy is too overwhelming to stifle. Can't break your terror of being pinned naked on a plane of light? Big chance you are going to outright hate anyone who doesn't let that stop them from doing the right thing. Big chance you will be happy to make shit up in order to take away the glory and admiration from that fucker who makes you seethe with envy.

And psychopaths know this about humans.

They know how to nudge us into seething this way. It's their idea of fun.

pipe up any time....