my ongoing devotion to neanderthals

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During my evening nap last night, I had another dream so real I wouldn't have known it was a dream if it had not woken me up... like the one I had years ago with the big hairy redhead just sitting under a tree, his arms around me, perfect safety, perfect love. Like that one.

This one was not as hairy.

A great big man with broad shoulders and dark red hair was in my bed. He was lying on his stomach and face turned away. I was lying on his back... the right side of his back. Both naked and I was sweating, soaked all over sweating. I was astonished that I was dead weight on him and it wasn’t a bother to him. Just peace and total trust.

After a little while he pulled out from under me. He turned to face me, reached out and stroked my cheekbone and eyelashes very, very gently and disappeared.

I was all love and loss for a beat and then woke up in my perfectly dry bed, wearing my perfectly dry t-shirt. It was kind of a shock because I was so sure I’d just been naked sweat from head to toe, dead weight on a very big man.

I think that dead weight feeling was from deep sleep, which I am always short on, because I had that feeling in my throat and chest like I do from snoring, from trying to drag air in and out of my lungs.

And it’s always as though that depth of sleep, that neanderthal in my genes, is calling me, like, please, this is love, come back.

pipe up any time....