i think i'm in need of a genius researcher

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I am, and have been for my whole life, determined not to become a pill freak — uppers or downers — so as to retain contact with my actually essential spirit, but the circus is becoming too maccabre. If I'm talking to whomever is most expert at the mechanisms, I might take something/s to stop this high agitation rinse and spin cycle.

Last night, at about 7:30pm, a nap took me, one of those where I just suddenly find myself running for my bed and am dead at the moment I recognize my head has hit the pillow, with another world running in distant innerspace, the kind of dead where it seems my body must've actually fused with the inside of my mattress.

I thought I awoke two hours later, but there was only about a ten minute break from the podcast I'd had on when it happened. I still don't have glasses optimal for seeing my computer screen. Maybe I saw the time wrong. So I took my evening pills and got back in bed. Nothing happened for many hours.

I woke up at 3pm. It was almost hot in here from the sunny day that went on without me, and now it's growing cool and the light is fading.

Maybe an expert at a university somewhere wants a guinea pig.

pipe up any time....