...
So far in my life, only Libby and John and my father have come to see me after they died. None of my grandparents or family of that generation; none of my other friends; none of my lovers. Libby took years before she came, and it was just to assure me she was fine. My father came to take me away from where I don't belong to the place I truly belong. John came to be counted as my lover... just a couple days after they murdered him.
I remember asking him how Yoko would feel about it. He said, "She's got the money." The money was her consolation. Nothing to worry about there. It wasn't a bitter, or even a negative thing to say. It was merely so. She'd had it all and she had it all. She would be fine. It's hard to put into words how a ghost conveys meaning so much better than living people, or other dreams, how it isn't your regular dreaming when you've fallen asleep. You might be asleep or you might not, and the only way to say it is "dream" or maybe "vision", but it isn't that. It's more than one person experiencing it, dead or alive. My teacher isn't dead and uses that access just like the ghosts do. I want to get enough better to do it before I die too.
.
