actually, melissa

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It's more like the vicissitudes of memory battling the press of events, the piling on of fears and responsibilities, all kinds of stuff. And you don't really start noticing it until you get into middle age. By the time you get verifiably old, you even find your brain too small to keep everything you need or want in it and begin to notice that weird things like moving furniture, let alone your home, scramble the fuck outta your head.

That's if you have a good one to start out with. You find yourself doing things like standing in front of the mirror for certain mental tasks, or going to the kitchen for others. Even on the internet there are touchstones for different brain modes. You have chore organizing, or memories pertinent to what's up for the day, or spaces for the direction your life should take.

And trying to keep even passably aware of world events, and then realizing that hatred of the president or prime minister or whomever makes time grind very, very slowly in one aspect of consciousness and yet as it has passed it feels like it was a weekend trip to someone's funeral instead of the better part of a decade.

I'm trying to say that those mobile devices really are advanced consciousness drains, but the radiations used to make them work as they do are also health drains. So people in our video game, our zombie apocalypse, our ordinary human lives, end up where we belong. Grist for the machine so odious, unless we yank ourselves out of it, command our own consciousness, live to be worth the resources it took to sustain us.

It's not really whether time speeds up or slows down. It's where we live in our heads, whether we use them or put them on automatic pilot. Consciousness is actual and eternal. Time is contrived and relative.

pipe up any time....