a septuagenarian on fire

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It dawns on me that there was some protection from the buddhas of the ten directions for the decades I was working so hard on reaching bodhisattva status under the tutelage of a true master. He died two years ago, my failings pumping iron on my forehead now.

Part of it is my extreme determination. That works against one. Is a type of egotism, deep at the core of human personality, and HARD to shake. On top of the sleep circus and getting blown to bits by a surgeon so recently and my advancing old age and extreme pecuniary pathetic-tude, the predicament of SO many stressors converging on one rickety meat sack.

My third eye to the heavens, there is the plea for my concentration to visit me before I am dead of this.

I'm asking because repayment for their gift to me is NOT up to snuff. Maybe all these snags are about propelling me up there with them for eternity, but there are, and will be, humans down here I'd be leaving without a sturdy-enough clue.

That's just too mean.


pipe up any time....